Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words!!!

We ran towards the store!!!

Click on the picture to find out why!!!

Reccommendation from Ankur Sood

TO WHOMSOEVER IT MAY BE CONCERNED

This is to certify that, Mr. Saurabh Gajjar is my best friend and is the only person who is truly concerned about me. This is to inform that, in the event anything occurs to me, all my possessions are to be handed over to him including my girlfriend/wife. I would also want that my dad treats him as his own son and finances his complete studies, lodging, boarding and other miscellaneous expenses in the US of A.

Further to this, under circumstances that I bear any children, they will not be the responsibility of Mr. Saurabh Gajjar (Not in the literal senses as well), because genuinely I am also unaware if they are mine.

Mr. Saurabh Gajjar will be the sole owner of the humungous fisheries business that we have developed together (Actually he only had the minds to do that, I was plain lucky to be offered a job of his chauffer after testing my skills in real time situations). I hereby, order to transfer all my credit to his account, including the one that I have earned by doing night freak shows at the Times Square in my early days.

Last but not the least, I would like Mr. Saurabh Gajjar to affix my personal potty in his restroom which will remind him of me every morning. This is my priced and the dearest possession. With chances that he might disown it, use the shards of my potty to make my tombstone as I am more attached to my potty than anyone or anything. (Please take this very seriously. P.S. The first words I said once I was born were not ‘Mama’ or ‘Papa’ it were ‘Potty lagi hai’)

I take this opportunity to thank Mr. Saurabh Gajjar from the bottom of my heart for all the care he has taken and affection he has shown to my kind of filthy nincompoop. Thanks to the concern karne waale.

Signed

Ankur Sood

Off Season Drops of Joy!!!!

Long time since a post... but occasion calls for one!!!!

Was at home when one of my colleague called as he wanted office keys. Just stepped out of the house and rains started pouring.

I came back home after giving the keys and directly went to the terrace. Four kids were there already enjoying in the rains. We splashed water at each other, plummeted each other with news papers soaked in water, played what they call sumo rings, lock and key and everything and screamed. I was in no particular team while every kid wanted me to be with him or her. Thats when they decided to team against me, laid me flat, splashed water together and climbed all over me. The youngest kid, said I was physically weaker then him and started boxing me, and threatened to throw me down from the terrace.

The feeling is better than driving the best car in the world, getting a big sales order, pocketing a fat pay cheque (this might be an overstatement), dining in the most luxurious hotel or finding a beautiful female sitting besides you in a flight.

Still sailing in the same :)

Lost - My Beloved Chaddi

Lost: Chaddi (Shorts)
Make: Nike (Imitation)
Colour: White, with black checkers.
Size: XXL (Had bought it around six years back, bigger size considering the growing physique. However, weight I have put on in these years is only 2 Kgs)
Distinguishing Mark: The middle button of the front three is half broken, is on a dying spree and is hanging out there barely on a thread and might not be there anymore by the time we find it.
Note: Does not know how to read, write or speak and hates everyone who calls her by the name kaccha or sweetheart.

This entry is dedicated to my lost chaddi, with which my association broke up in an abrupt way. I have been trying to find her for past three days, have checked every nook and corner of my house, back hangers of every door, every single closet, my laptop bag, everywhere. But I am not able to locate her and I am missing her so badly. There are few things I have been suspecting right from the first moment.

Suicide - While I was at Ahmedabad, my Chaddi was good friends with the washing machine and was eager everytime she went for a wash. But since I have come to Hyderabad, the maid out here did not show the same respect and Chaddi always seemed to be sad. It was evident from its vigour less elastic and giving up rims, the amount of pain she was goin thru. Hussainsagar lake is very close to my house and I suspect she has ended her life. But I will not believe it till the day I find her dead body and will always be on a look out for her. Also, the other reason for suicide might be, we had brought Ramgopal Verma ki Aag VCD, and she was lying in the corner watching it.

Arjun the cook - We had at our house, a case of laptop theft. The task was done so aptly, we realised the laptop has been missing, only after a week. This was work of an insider and other than our cook, there is probably nobody who could have done it. From the first look itself, my chaddi looked like a precious item of clothing. Even after six years of service, she was in her best shape and figure. And if I find it out to be the truth, I will see that he gets sentence for a minimum six years and does not even get interim bail for his own wedding.

Foreign Conspiracy - I went to the extent of suspecting some foreign hand in this case. I reside in a colony which has equal no. of muslims as hindus. They might be wanting me accuse one of them and arson a communal riot. But I am not falling for this one, and for sake of peace, harmony and humanity, I am ready to part with my dear chaddi and will never pander to the shallow desires of some Saddam or Osama or any of our neighbourhoods.

Designers and desires - With the holes at certain specific locations in the chaddi, it revealed some specific parts of human body. It could be worn as underpants and girls would die over the nike logo in the front if revealed. It could also adorn any superhero if worn over the pants and I bet the idea would fetch millions if shown over the ramp. I had a feeling Rohit Bals and Manish Malhotras of designer worlds were always eyeing it and with little chance, have swindled it from my home. This also includes Ms. Sherawats dress designer and for that matter Ms. Amisha Patels as well.

Whatever, the case might be, as of now, I am not able to stop waters from my eyes. My hearts weeping and there is only one song across my lips "Aaja tujhko pukare mere geet re, meri Chaddia".

If found, please inform. The person will be given a befitting monetary reward and a date with Bobby Darling on the sets (Have this option, because could not afford two celebrities and Chaddi might be found by a guy or a girl)

Begani Shaadi Mein... Abdullah Deewana!!!!

Statutory Warning - The below blog entry is completely non-fictional. The author himself has been a part of the events depicted. Resemblance to any person living or dead is highly obvious and welcome. 2nd half of the blog content might have some explicits and non readalbe material for readers and it is suggested you read this under parental guidance. It is due to my newly developed view that it sells and sells well, it is just a TRP booster.

The entry is about me attending wedding and reception of one of my best friends last sunday, to whom we will, from here on, refer to as 'Bakra'. For, they say, 'Before marriage the man yearns for the woman, after marriage 'y' goes silent'.

Bakra was all set at around 6 30 in the morning, had just came afresh from the bathroom, and was choosing from couple of different coloured underpants (Hope you understand, why the concern). Finally settled with blue colour and all dressed, we went to the rented hall where he was to have his photo shoot, he managed to strike all Naomi Campbell poses with that heavy clothes on, and we left for the venue where the slaughter was afterall planned.

Danced a lot in the baarat, makin our way through the cow dung cakes lying on Rajkot streets, was sweaty and hungry by the time we reached the venue. Bakra had dress change II and wore the chudidar low waist, to flaunt his non Jockey, non Calvin Klein, desi kacchha.

Ceremonies begun and his sister handed me his shoes to keep a dog watch. Three of us friends decided to turn dogs and sell those. While he was at feras, i hurled myself towards the Kanya Paksh, and told his saalis that the shoes are on sell for half of the money they could get from their jiju. However, they had to pay Rs. 500 as advance. But, the saalis and saalas had little or no mind for business and reached agreement after Bakra had those shoes on again.

Marriage went on fine and the food was fabulous. Had lot of fun and panchrangi halwa.

Went to his reception in the evening. And bakra's excitement for what was to follow after the reception was right there on his face. Though, Bakra seemed a little concerned, with the performance pressure building up. I was told that I looked good by many people. Wanted to publish the picture as well, but refrained from it coz I am to wear the same clothes in three more receptions, which might include mine as well.

Post dinner, he came around to wave goodbye, and would have ran to the booked hotel had the cab been not gurring on the gate.

We asked if all the arrangements were made, and by that we meant all the arrangements. We didnt wanted him to land in soup.

Bakra - Ello!! Is this room service
RS - Yes
Bakra - S.O.S. ; Urgent help needed. I am in 'On Climax - No Latex' situation.
RS - Sorry sir that had to be taken care by you only. We suggest you use bathroom. Follow the green lights on the floor for the way and mind you, the carpet is brand new sir.

Bakra - Ello; Urgent help needed. I am in 'On Climax - No Latex' situation
Me - I am on the way back home, can not do anything. Play carrom.
Bakra - Were you guys hinting a Carrom Board when you said arrangements??

We also asked him whether he would want a VCD or DVD, but we ourselves decided on DVD as we didnt want the viewers to lose concentration midway when player changes from VCD to VCD.

PS to readers - This is limited edition entry. Will be omitted in short while. I hate shit on my blog.

PS to Bakra - My name on the gift sticker is written last and with different pen, which does not mean that I have not paid for it. (Tried a lot though, but had to in the end)

PS to Bakra - With Indian national average of 12 mins, if you lasted lesser, or if your better half uttered the words 'Oh!! I was always in search of a tooth pick', please visit Raza Bengali Baba, you can get the address pasted on all mumbai locals. Check - Not my personal experience.

Readers - There is 8th point addition to my previous entry. Thought of it after publishing. Do read.