An Informally Formal Introduction to My Roomies at Chennai
Sorry to keep the few precious readers of my blog waiting for the new entry. I had actually posted one in between but damn those soft drink makers who were after me all the time to place their adds on my blog, I had to delete it. Important lesson I learnt from that is I'll only post my day to day events. And since nothing has happened recently (Except for my resignation at my present employers and leaving the small task of achieving 200 compressors halfway. Halfway.. LOL.... I have sold only four after that), I dedicate this entry to four of my room mates at Chennai, whom I have bugged unimaginably for the past nine months. This is an introduction at the time of good bye, as I am about to leave Chennai.
Character #1: Jaiwardhan Gupta
Jaiwardhan (name is also as bad as the picture) a.k.a. Aks is fresh product from IIT Madras, working now in Caterpillar as Floor Superviser (Brings tools from the inventory, passes on to workers, gets abused in Tamil and cries before his boss). Whats more, Jai is one of the most lazy bums I have seen in my life (There is one more, about to follow as you read on). There are two sentences of Jai you should never trust
1. Yaar thodi der so lene de, phir khane chalte hai
2. Yaar aaj shaam ko picture dekhne chalte hai yaar.
Because as the time comes, the only expected sentence is "Pack maar yaar" (Pack maar is IIT lingo, you say that when you dont want to do the mutually discussed and agreed action). When it comes to sleeping, Jai is the Schumacher of the game (Though Schumacher gets beaten sometimes, not even Kumbhkarna can beat Jai). And only Jai can come up with lines (Alike James Bond's introduction which attracts many audiences) after six hours of complete bed rest "Yaar sote sote thak gya" and goes to sleep again. But theres lots more to him than sleeping... lemme think... aa.... an.... aa... Ok I lied. (For Gupta family to march ahead, it will take Jaiwardhan the lazy bum to be settled in seismic zone 5, hope you figure out this one)
Character #2: Pulkit Agarwal
Pullu is from Lucknow from some IIT and in wrong place now. He is the master chef, cooks amazing dishes out of anything. He can combine any sorts of ingredients and make a main course out of it. As I can see it, Pullu's wife will be the most happiest person post Marriage. The reason being, he is a great cook and she'll never have to worry about her cooking, while rest of the time, Pullu is so Pakao I believe his wife will stay only with me.
Pullu has been gifted by god with a free Reliance to Reliance connection, enbling him to be on phone day in and day out (Early morning 3 at times). He is live advertise of Reliance and they can make a documentory on him (Though Dhiru bhai's soul will rest in peace only once his connection has been cancelled)
Character #3: Satyam Chaudhary
Sattu meri Jaan.. is from Jaipur, bachelors (and bachelor) from IIT Bombay. This is the guy who has got biiiiig dreams and biiiiig plans for the same. The Fatta Master. Whatever he speaks, goes above my head most of the times, but he is the one who can tolerate me for longer hours and thence turns out to be the person with whom I have spent most of my time when not on Job. If I can screw cooking Maggi, he surely can screw cooking poha but I have to eat it with devilish smile on my face. He gives business to half of India's sugar makers by eating Sugar adding a little Khichdi to it. Sugar with little milk and hieghts is Sugar with Chhole.
Most of the times you see him is on Computer. He can spend his whole life in one position if you can provide him with endless supply of Juice, Computer terminal in the front (internet is must) and a comfortable Shit Pot to sit (Provided the shit pot is with Auto-Flush). He is a very good friend (applause), he is a very good gamer (applause) and he is a very good dancer (laughter)
Character #4: Chaitanya a.k.a Chatty
Fasten your seatbelts people, because this is surely going to take long. Unfortunately this simian like figure turns out to be my flatmate. He is a stinking assasin. Goverment of India was ready to employ him just to export him to Pakistan and cause mass murders but UN has banned Nuclear and Gas bombs. So, as fate turns out, he ended up in Chennai with us. Last time he took bath was when he was to appear for Caterpillar interview. From then on, its against his credo to let anyone around move with both of their hands unengaged. He has got that American air baby....
Chatty is an ace shooter as you can see in the pic, but by the time he aims and shoots (which takes huge efforts because of his rotund figure), you will easily manage to escape. The problem is when he starts shooting randomly like a mad bull and then you unintentionally fall in the way of the bullets which come out of the nozzle with the tag 'To whomsoever it may be concerned', because in that case generally the one concerned is you.
Let me make you aware of Chatty's physique. Chatty as I have specified earlier is in possesion of a portly figre, so portly that you can take your morning strolls around it (and I bet you'll give up halfway). And to that 48-48-48 figure are attached limbs of a 36-24-36 female, making him look like a frog out of the mud pool. But there is one good thing about his body, it is not as bad as his face.
But generally you do not expect your flat mates to be male Miss India, and hence you can do away with looks, what matters is the nature, but there is a problem here also. With that kind of nature his tadpoles will one day proudly brag in front of their friends, "You know what, my dad is so crooked, he once swollowed a nail and shitted a cork screw".
Chatty's life is measured in terms of shit loads. "Dude, I have got shit loads of rice inside fridge" or "Dude, I have got shit load of work today". So as I have suggested everything and anything can be measured in terms of shit loads, including his own life. He has spent shit load of time shitting around on this planet by now.
And guess what, despite of all that, Chatty still has got a girl friend, and Satyam, Jai (Apparently, coz he is on phone most times of a day but doesn't tell us who is it at opposite end, we fear it turns out to be a guy), Pulkit (Apparently) and Me haven't got one.
Anyways, this is kind of exaggerated versions of them, but true to quite some extent. I spent great time with these guys (I dunno if they share the same feeling) and I wish I could have permenent way to bug them all the time.
Character #1: Jaiwardhan Gupta
Jaiwardhan (name is also as bad as the picture) a.k.a. Aks is fresh product from IIT Madras, working now in Caterpillar as Floor Superviser (Brings tools from the inventory, passes on to workers, gets abused in Tamil and cries before his boss). Whats more, Jai is one of the most lazy bums I have seen in my life (There is one more, about to follow as you read on). There are two sentences of Jai you should never trust
1. Yaar thodi der so lene de, phir khane chalte hai
2. Yaar aaj shaam ko picture dekhne chalte hai yaar.
Because as the time comes, the only expected sentence is "Pack maar yaar" (Pack maar is IIT lingo, you say that when you dont want to do the mutually discussed and agreed action). When it comes to sleeping, Jai is the Schumacher of the game (Though Schumacher gets beaten sometimes, not even Kumbhkarna can beat Jai). And only Jai can come up with lines (Alike James Bond's introduction which attracts many audiences) after six hours of complete bed rest "Yaar sote sote thak gya" and goes to sleep again. But theres lots more to him than sleeping... lemme think... aa.... an.... aa... Ok I lied. (For Gupta family to march ahead, it will take Jaiwardhan the lazy bum to be settled in seismic zone 5, hope you figure out this one)
Character #2: Pulkit Agarwal
Pullu is from Lucknow from some IIT and in wrong place now. He is the master chef, cooks amazing dishes out of anything. He can combine any sorts of ingredients and make a main course out of it. As I can see it, Pullu's wife will be the most happiest person post Marriage. The reason being, he is a great cook and she'll never have to worry about her cooking, while rest of the time, Pullu is so Pakao I believe his wife will stay only with me.
Pullu has been gifted by god with a free Reliance to Reliance connection, enbling him to be on phone day in and day out (Early morning 3 at times). He is live advertise of Reliance and they can make a documentory on him (Though Dhiru bhai's soul will rest in peace only once his connection has been cancelled)
Character #3: Satyam Chaudhary
Sattu meri Jaan.. is from Jaipur, bachelors (and bachelor) from IIT Bombay. This is the guy who has got biiiiig dreams and biiiiig plans for the same. The Fatta Master. Whatever he speaks, goes above my head most of the times, but he is the one who can tolerate me for longer hours and thence turns out to be the person with whom I have spent most of my time when not on Job. If I can screw cooking Maggi, he surely can screw cooking poha but I have to eat it with devilish smile on my face. He gives business to half of India's sugar makers by eating Sugar adding a little Khichdi to it. Sugar with little milk and hieghts is Sugar with Chhole.
Most of the times you see him is on Computer. He can spend his whole life in one position if you can provide him with endless supply of Juice, Computer terminal in the front (internet is must) and a comfortable Shit Pot to sit (Provided the shit pot is with Auto-Flush). He is a very good friend (applause), he is a very good gamer (applause) and he is a very good dancer (laughter)
Character #4: Chaitanya a.k.a Chatty
Fasten your seatbelts people, because this is surely going to take long. Unfortunately this simian like figure turns out to be my flatmate. He is a stinking assasin. Goverment of India was ready to employ him just to export him to Pakistan and cause mass murders but UN has banned Nuclear and Gas bombs. So, as fate turns out, he ended up in Chennai with us. Last time he took bath was when he was to appear for Caterpillar interview. From then on, its against his credo to let anyone around move with both of their hands unengaged. He has got that American air baby....
Chatty is an ace shooter as you can see in the pic, but by the time he aims and shoots (which takes huge efforts because of his rotund figure), you will easily manage to escape. The problem is when he starts shooting randomly like a mad bull and then you unintentionally fall in the way of the bullets which come out of the nozzle with the tag 'To whomsoever it may be concerned', because in that case generally the one concerned is you.
Let me make you aware of Chatty's physique. Chatty as I have specified earlier is in possesion of a portly figre, so portly that you can take your morning strolls around it (and I bet you'll give up halfway). And to that 48-48-48 figure are attached limbs of a 36-24-36 female, making him look like a frog out of the mud pool. But there is one good thing about his body, it is not as bad as his face.
But generally you do not expect your flat mates to be male Miss India, and hence you can do away with looks, what matters is the nature, but there is a problem here also. With that kind of nature his tadpoles will one day proudly brag in front of their friends, "You know what, my dad is so crooked, he once swollowed a nail and shitted a cork screw".
Chatty's life is measured in terms of shit loads. "Dude, I have got shit loads of rice inside fridge" or "Dude, I have got shit load of work today". So as I have suggested everything and anything can be measured in terms of shit loads, including his own life. He has spent shit load of time shitting around on this planet by now.
And guess what, despite of all that, Chatty still has got a girl friend, and Satyam, Jai (Apparently, coz he is on phone most times of a day but doesn't tell us who is it at opposite end, we fear it turns out to be a guy), Pulkit (Apparently) and Me haven't got one.
Anyways, this is kind of exaggerated versions of them, but true to quite some extent. I spent great time with these guys (I dunno if they share the same feeling) and I wish I could have permenent way to bug them all the time.
posted by Saurabh Gajjar at 1:53 AM
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